Here's my theological conundrum of the day:
Wright basically identifies the Gospel as simultaneously being the following:
1. the story of Israel, brought to completion after (not) ending with a whimper in Malachi
2. the story of Israel's God, a particular kind of God -- I think this is really important since the Old Testament seems to have become a sort of stumbling block and a lot of time I just don't have the energy to get into it over Leviticus one more time
3. the renewal of God's people (not, Wright is adamant, the launching of a new group of Gods people via the early Christian church), and
4. the clash of God's kingdom with those of the world
If I'm reading it correctly, Wright believes that by recognizing that Jesus died to renew Israel, and by extension, the world -- not to save me specifically, though of course, as part of that world, I'm remade, too -- we also recognize that our individual redemption is inseparable from the advancement of God's kingdom, starting now. (Well, starting then, I guess, but starting, for me specifically, with the moment(s) I enter into my own salvation, (re)encountering Jesus and being remade by Him.)
But what is God's kingdom? What does it look like? I think, in the back of my mind, I pretty much have assumed I know that, and am only now really thinking hard about it, trying to not take it for granted. In that sense, the crisis over gay marriage has been really instructive for me. (How awesome! I love when the oppression of marginalized groups facilitates the personal growth of corresponding privileged groups! Except: oh, wait, actually, that's asinine.)
I take for granted that Gods kingdom looks like love being valued, especially when that love is something that has to be fought for, something that transcends not just categories like race, class or gender but the institutions that make those categories an issue. I mean that, not in the sense that I haven't struggled with claims that race and gender do matter to God, but in the sense that I did evaluate those claims, read the Bible, prayed, resolved the issue to my own satisfaction, and no longer wonder whether God has a problem with homosexuality or not.
But what do you do when people who seem equally committed to God and His word have a vision of the kingdom so unlike, and incompatible with, your own? I mean, I imagine God's kingdom as a place where justice is being done, where hate and prejudice are marginalized to make room for the very people who the haters and prejudice are seeking to marginalize. Where the infinite value that God attributes to each individual is affirmed by the people who represent Him.
I'm only really starting to try and make sense of the fact that that is not what God's kingdom looks like to others -- so when I'm like, sign my gay marriage petition this and come to my FGM conference that and sleep at a homeless shelter what-have-you, they're not interested, not because the kingdom doesn't matter to them, but because they are trying to bring into being an entirely different kingdom.
That maybe sounds like I'm thinking my idea is right and just looking for a way to work that in. I'm not. Obviously, I do think my vision of the kingdom is right, is Biblical; otherwise I'd have a different vision. But I'm legitimately confused about how they can have one that is so different from my own. I mean, honestly, it seems like a lot of contemporary Christians are going to their Bibles, reading them as scrupulously as I try to read mine, and finding in them a totally different God.
That's deeply unsettling to me for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that it does seem to affirm the claims of non-believers that we just make our God in our own image, that He isn't real.
I don't have any way to resolve that. It's pretty high up, I guess, on lists of things to pray over today.
To Anne Lamott's two greatest prayers (Thank you, thank you, thank you and Help me, help me, help me), may I suggest adding: Wtf, wtf, wtf?
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